If you’re anything like me, you’ve got a million ideas swirling in your head. You want to do them all. You want them done yesterday. But then life gets in the way.
For me, it was a week of study visits, followed by a week of high-stress assignments and deadlines. It feels like forever since I touched the things I actually wanted to do. Instead of thriving, I’ve just been surviving.
And I hate surviving.
I created Ash & Ember Rising because I didn’t want to just get through life — I wanted to live it. Intentionally. Fully. Passionately. I want to do all the things. Ten-people’s worth of things, if I’m honest. And of course, that’s impossible… but still, I expect it of myself.
Which means sometimes it’s hard to match my wants, my wild expectations, with reality.
What happens when reality wins?
So what do you do when life doesn’t match the plan? When deadlines eat your days, or stress fogs your brain, or you just can’t do the things you hoped you would?
You could walk away. You could decide it isn’t worth it. You could label it failure.
But here’s the truth:
Just because something didn’t happen the way you wanted or expected doesn’t make it worthless. It doesn’t make you worthless.
It makes you human.
Still here. Still trying.
I didn’t finish everything I wanted. Some things didn’t happen at all. But I’m still here.
Still caring. Still showing up. Still trying, even when it’s messy.
And maybe,
sometimes,
that’s enough.
From surviving to rising
Ash & Ember Rising has always been about this: turning the sparks we have left, even when everything feels burnt out, into steps forward.
So if you’re here, tired, behind, feeling like you’ve lost the thread of your own story — know this:
You’re not failing. You’re still becoming. And you’re allowed to start again, as many times as it takes.
Because surviving is not the end of your story. It’s just the messy middle. And the ember is still glowing.
Usually, I get to Monday and think, “Okay… what am I going to blog about today?” But this time, I had the entire post written by Saturday.
Which should have made things easier.
Instead, I thought: What if I made a video? And then: What if that video became part of a series?
And that’s how we’ve ended up on Thursday… with no blog, no video, and a growing pile of notebooks whispering, “We were your idea, remember?”
This week’s video was supposed to be finished. It was supposed to be up. You were supposed to be able to press play by now and watch me reflect, create, and gently chaos my way through six journals.
But here we are. And it’s not done.
And I want to talk about that — not to apologise, but to be transparent. Because the whole point of Ash & Ember Rising is to make space for imperfection. For pacing. For soft starts and late entries and pages that don’t quite turn when you want them to.
What’s Done So Far
I’ve filmed most of the components for the first journaling video:
The printables are prepped
The mixed media version is painted and assembled
The intro is recorded
The reflections are written
The structure is solid
…but I ran out of energy before I could film the bullet journal and digital versions. And rather than forcing it out of guilt, I’m giving myself a little room to breathe.
What’s Still Coming
The bullet journal version is planned and sketched — it’s clean, calm, and almost ready to film.
The digital journal is designed in portrait format (finally!) and just needs me to hit record. (Which sounds simple until you’re running on tea and sheer willpower.)
Both pieces will be finished soon. And the full video will follow, gently and honestly.
Why I Paused Instead of Pushed Through
Because I don’t want to create content that’s built on burnout. I don’t want to talk about intentionality while white-knuckling my way through a deadline. And most of all — I don’t want to model the kind of perfectionism I’m actively trying to unlearn.
So here’s my reminder to myself (and maybe to you, too):
You don’t have to force it. The work will wait. The page will still be there when you’re ready.
🐐 Coming Soon…
The full video. Six journals. One small phoenix-powered step at a time.
Until then, thank you for being patient, present, and beautifully unfinished.
Last year, there was a sudden change in my role expectations at work, and I found myself staring down the possibility of endless hours stuck in a place where I was expected to be professional… but had nothing to do. It wasn’t an easy change to accept. I was in the middle of becoming something new — of changing — and suddenly, I was being anchored in place.
So what did I do? I chose to grow anyway. I applied to study a Master’s in Teacher Librarianship. I committed to NaNoWriMo and decided to write a novel from scratch.
Then this year, I realised that if I overloaded my schedule just a little more — took on one extra unit each semester — I could finish my degree this year. I could be done. I could be free. I could begin again.
And that’s how I ended up working full time, studying full time, parenting… and still somehow trying to meet creative goals. I didn’t mean for it to happen — but I went from too much time on my hands to chaos incarnate. Deadlines. Responsibilities. And an overwhelming need for time I didn’t have.
Sometimes I think people imagine “balance” as this calm, perfectly planned thing: Work for 8 hours. Play for 8 hours. Sleep for 8 hours. Easy, right?
But real life doesn’t work that way — especially when you’re responsible for people and tasks and dreams. And the first things we sacrifice? Our play. Our rest. The pieces that keep us whole.
So how do you find balance that actually sustains you — especially when you’re busy?
You find it in moments. Tiny ones. Choice by choice.
This year, I’ve been choosing balance one moment at a time. Moments to breathe. Moments that bring joy, even if just for 10 minutes.
I…
Celebrated my birthday intentionally and creatively, in the way I wanted to
Finally started learning to paint with watercolours — and it has been pure joy
Kept blogging every single week, even when it was hard
Created for the fun of it through play and printables
And on occasion, did something completely silly and unexpected (hello, Blooper Mascot)
Balance isn’t 8 hours of leisure to offset your 8 hours of work. Balance is:
That one quiet moment where you feel peace
A spark of joy you didn’t expect
Giving your body what it actually needs — whether that’s rest, silence, movement, or dessert
Choosing not to do everything right now
Letting go of perfection, and allowing “done” to be enough
Balance doesn’t mean doing everything. Sometimes, it just means taking one small moment to do something kind for yourself — on purpose.
Because there is joy to be had in goats and dragon-phoenixes and life, if you can find it.
If you read my last blog post, you’ll know I’ve taken on a lot recently — and then I got sick. One of the unfortunate side effects of overloading your plate is that the things that bring you joy are often the first to go. And anything new you want to try? That usually gets pushed aside too.
For me, one of those “someday” things has been watercolour painting.
Almost a year ago, I bought all the things — paints, brushes, pens, and a book of watercolour paper. I was excited. Ready. All I needed was time.
This week, while doom scrolling in survival mode, I stumbled across a Facebook reel of an artist painting in watercolours. One video led to another… and then I found a whole series she’d made to help people learn and practice, step by step.
I felt something stir. And after digging out all my supplies (which took longer than you’d think — dust is sneaky), I decided to finally try.
This blog is going to be a record of that journey. Every time I paint something, I’ll update this post with my progress. Maybe it’ll inspire you to try something new, too. It doesn’t have to be watercolours. Anything that sparks even a flicker of joy — that’s worth picking up.
Page 1: A Patchwork of Possibility
The first page is the creation a cover page for the book. The learning here is about how water colours work and what happens when you dab the paint to water. I did end up with a bit of a pool of water like she did and I thought that I would hate that part of the page but actually it blended so nicely when it dried and it’s kind of my favourite part. If you’ve always been afraid to give watercolours a try, I think this is the perfect exercise to get you to give it a go because the whole plan is for it not to be perfect, which is really actually perfect.
I started by taping up my page. I was so worried that the type would stick and rip the paper but actually it came off like a dream!
When I’d finished adding my paint it really looked a little like it would turn out to be a disaster.
But it wasn’t! I love this page so much and I actually really enjoyed adding the details with the black pen!
Page 2: The Swatch Garden
The second page is a fun variation of making a ‘swatch’ to show what each colour paint looks like on the page. My watercolour palette has a lot more colours than hers and I think my book is smaller so my mushrooms quite small compared to hers, but I don’t think that matters. I’ve never in my life drawn a mushroom so this was actually quite challenging for me. My perfectionist brain was screaming, blobs! And panicking but I just kept reminding myself that the whole point of this is practice. It isn’t supposed to be perfect and that’s what makes it awesome. It did take longer than I thought it would to draw on all the details. My poor fingers are sore! My watercolour palette doesn’t have names anywhere for the colours so I haven’t included them. Maybe I should just make some up…
It was really hard for me to image what shapes make mushrooms but I think my blobs turned out alright?
Wow, they look so good! Who knew I was capable of creating something I would be so proud of! Considering I’d never drawn a mushroom before…
Page 3: Chaos and Control
I do not have a box of circles… I also had never painted on paper with acrylic paints and when I first did my circles I thought because they were perfect this would turn out horribly but actually, the imperfections make this piece more interesting. I’ve spent a long time trying to decide which side I like better. The wet on dry side looks clean and clear and dare I say ‘neater’. The chaos side was chaos to create and yet it turned out so well. I really like how the colours blend together and I used grey and black to make the background and I love how it turned out too! Nope, I can’t decide.
I forgot to take a photo of just circles! Here is what I was up to when I remember I should have!
The background of the chaos side dried a lot lighter than I thought it would be but I think it actually matches the other lighter colours better than if it were darker.
Page 4:
Coming soon!
This post will grow as I do. Each time I complete a new page from the series, I’ll update this blog with my progress. Feel free to check back now and then to see how far I’ve come — and maybe you’ll feel inspired to try something new too.
If this post sparks something in you — a desire to try, to create, or to return to a forgotten joy — I’ve created a space just for that. Burnt & Beautiful is a Facebook group for anyone exploring their creativity, whether you’re painting, doodling, colouring outside the lines, or just starting to dream again.
It’s a gentle, safe space where imperfection is welcome and sharing your progress (or your glorious mess) is celebrated.
If you decide to give this a go, we’d love to see what you create. You can join the community here.
Ash & Ember Rising 