Ash & Ember Rising

Feelings & Fire, messy progress, Reflection

When Surviving Feels Like Failing

August 29, 2025 Mindrah

Life.
Sometimes life just… sucks.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve got a million ideas swirling in your head. You want to do them all. You want them done yesterday. But then life gets in the way.

For me, it was a week of study visits, followed by a week of high-stress assignments and deadlines. It feels like forever since I touched the things I actually wanted to do. Instead of thriving, I’ve just been surviving.

And I hate surviving.

I created Ash & Ember Rising because I didn’t want to just get through life — I wanted to live it. Intentionally. Fully. Passionately. I want to do all the things. Ten-people’s worth of things, if I’m honest. And of course, that’s impossible… but still, I expect it of myself.

Which means sometimes it’s hard to match my wants, my wild expectations, with reality.

What happens when reality wins?

So what do you do when life doesn’t match the plan?
When deadlines eat your days, or stress fogs your brain, or you just can’t do the things you hoped you would?

You could walk away.
You could decide it isn’t worth it.
You could label it failure.

But here’s the truth:

Just because something didn’t happen the way you wanted or expected doesn’t make it worthless.
It doesn’t make you worthless.

It makes you human.

Still here. Still trying.

I didn’t finish everything I wanted. Some things didn’t happen at all. But I’m still here.

Still caring.
Still showing up.
Still trying, even when it’s messy.

And maybe,

sometimes,

that’s enough.

From surviving to rising

Ash & Ember Rising has always been about this: turning the sparks we have left, even when everything feels burnt out, into steps forward.

So if you’re here, tired, behind, feeling like you’ve lost the thread of your own story — know this:

You’re not failing.
You’re still becoming.
And you’re allowed to start again, as many times as it takes.

Because surviving is not the end of your story. It’s just the messy middle. And the ember is still glowing.

A female superhero with long wavy brown hair sits cross-legged on the floor in front of a red cape, surrounded by books, art supplies, a painting easel, and creative tools, symbolizing multi-passionate creativity and growth.

Ash & Ember Book Reflections

Jack of All Trades, Master of… Actually, Everything (Eventually)

July 29, 2025 Mindrah

“When I grow up, I want to be a librarian.”

I said that for years — partly as a joke, partly because books were the only thing I’d ever actually finished. But what I didn’t realize back then was that librarians don’t just love books. They thrive on curiosity, connection, and exploration. And maybe that’s why I ended up here — because secretly, I’ve been a Scanner all along.

If you’ve never heard that term before, let me explain.

The Stories They Told Me (And I Believed)

For most of my life, I was told I “never finished anything.”

My family would roll their eyes when I excitedly started a new project or hobby.
My husband would get frustrated — often about the cost of supplies for things he thought I’d never complete.

And slowly, I started believing those stories.

That maybe I was flaky.
That maybe I didn’t have what it takes to “stick it out.”
That maybe I’d never amount to anything if I couldn’t just pick one thing and do it forever.

It’s exhausting living in someone else’s story about you.

The Truth I Didn’t Know

It wasn’t until I stumbled across Barbara Sher’s book, Refuse to Choose!, that I discovered the truth:

I’m not broken.
I’m not flaky.
I’m a Scanner.

Barbara Sher describes Scanners as people who are curious, multi-passionate, and wired to explore. We don’t want to master just one thing — we want to master everything.

And for the first time, I felt like my brain made sense.

Jack of All Trades? Maybe. But…

People say “Jack of all trades, master of none” like it’s an insult. But did you know that the full phrase is actually:

“Jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than master of one.”

That hits differently, doesn’t it?

I do want to master things. Just… not one thing. I want to master all the things. And maybe that means I’ll need to figure out how to become immortal — but in the meantime, I’m learning how to embrace my multi-passionate brain instead of fighting it.

Finding a Home in Librarianship

When I finally started studying to become a librarian, I realized something surprising: librarians are basically Scanners in disguise.

We connect dots across disciplines.
We learn just enough about everything to help others go deeper.
We gather knowledge, organize it, and make it accessible.

It turns out my “dream job” wasn’t random at all — it was the perfect fit for someone like me.

A woman with long wavy brown hair sits cross‑legged on the floor of a golden‑lit library, surrounded by books, sketchpads, and creative tools, as glowing threads of light weave between the shelves, symbolizing connection and discovery. — Somewhere between the bookshelves, I found a place where my curiosity finally felt at home.

Rewriting the Narrative

For years, I told myself the story other people wrote for me: that I was inconsistent, unserious, destined to fail.

But here’s what I know now: I am consistent — at being curious. I am serious — about learning everything I can.

And I am far from destined to fail.

If you’ve been told you’re scattered, flaky, or “too much,” maybe you’re not broken either. Maybe you’re just a Scanner.

And maybe, just maybe, it’s time to stop apologizing for wanting to live more than one life.

So here’s my challenge for you:
What’s the story you’ve been told about who you are?
And what happens if you decide to rewrite it?

Because me? I don’t just want to master one thing. I want to master everything. And maybe, just maybe, that’s my superpower.

If this resonates with you, you might also like my previous post about challenging the false stories we inherit about ourselves. Together, they’re two sides of the same journey: recognizing the story you’ve been handed… and rewriting it for yourself.

Feelings & Fire, Reflection

The Stories We Carry (And Rewrite)

July 21, 2025July 21, 2025 Mindrah

This week I want to talk to you about stories.
Stories we tell ourselves.
And stories other people tell about us.

You see, my family tells a lot of stories about me.
They say I’m fat, and therefore I must be unfit.
They say I never exercise, which reinforces their belief that I don’t care about my health.
They say I never go outside.
They say I don’t care about them.

I don’t share this for sympathy. I share it because it bothers me and because deep down, I know it’s not true.
And yet, hearing the same story enough times can start to plant roots. You begin to wonder: What if they’re right?

But here’s the reality:
I’ve lost over 40kg.
I did that by waking up before dawn, walking most days, and showing up for myself even when it was hard.
I walk outside. I leave the house five days a week for work.
I studied full-time while working full-time because I care deeply about building a better future.
And even when exhausted, I still showed up for my family. I called. I checked in. I listened. I made time.

Imagine if I had listened to their version of my story.
Imagine if I believed them.
Worse, imagine if I started telling myself those same things.

If I had, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be healthier, stronger, halfway through a Master’s degree, or learning how to rebuild when life suddenly veers off course.

This morning, everything feels a bit broken. My plans have unraveled. My path feels uncertain.
But instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” I’ve been drafting a new game plan.
A new story.

And now I’m wondering about you.

What stories are being told about you, by others, or by yourself, that need to be rewritten?
What falsehoods have been repeated so often they started to feel like truth?

Because me? I think you’ve got this.
You’re still becoming.
You’re still growing.

Remember the power of yet.
And write yourself a story worth living in.

Feelings & Fire, Printable Packs

A Day in Your Dreams

July 9, 2025July 13, 2025 Mindrah

Last week, we took the first step.

I shared a bit about how I’ve been crawling my way out of survival mode and starting to ask myself what kind of life I want to live — not someday, but now. Not all of it, not perfectly, but piece by piece.

That post came with a simple journal prompt. Just a quiet invitation to think:
“If I could change things… what would I want to feel?”

And now we’re ready for the next part.

Gentle Next Steps

This time, I wanted to do something a little different — something slower, softer, and maybe a bit dreamy. I made a guided visualisation called A Day in Your Dreams (see below). It’s not about imagining some big, impossible future. It’s just about picturing a day that feels calm and kind — one that feels like you.

You can listen to the video if you’d like to be gently walked through it, or you can explore the printable that goes with it. Some people think better with their eyes closed. Some people like pens and pages. Some of us need both.

Whatever works for you is the right way to start.

About the Printable

The free printable will be shared in this blog once it’s ready (I’m just finalising it now!). It offers space to reflect on one moment at a time — morning, midday, evening — and includes gentle prompts like:

What does your space look like?
How do you feel as you wake up?
What’s one small detail you’d love to bring into real life?

Each section has a little spark of encouragement from one of our Ash & Ember Rising mascots — like Zalyn the Motivation Mermaid, who reminds you that it’s okay to dream boldly and still take your time.

Download the printable

A Day in Your Dreams

What’s Coming Next

In the next blog, we’ll choose one of the moments from your visualised day — maybe your ideal morning routine, or a peaceful workspace, or a little thing that brought joy — and we’ll start to explore how to bring that into your real life.

We’ll go slowly.
We’ll start small.
We’ll do it together.

Because dreaming matters — but doing it gently? That’s where the magic starts.

Let’s Journal It!

Last week I also started to show you what it might look like to start journaling. Here is what today’s post invites you to do next — pause, imagine, and spend a moment inside the version of your life you’re hoping to build.

(coming soon)

Fire & Fuel, Printable Packs

Coming Back to the Beginning

June 30, 2025July 13, 2025 Mindrah

Recently, I got completely swamped — full-time work, full-time study — and Ash & Ember Rising suffered.
I haven’t made a new printable pack in months.
The only thing I’ve managed to keep up with is this blog.

Now that my assignments are done and dusted, I wanted to return to my dream — to reconnect with the joy this project usually brings.
I say usually because the first thing I did was print out some of my own packs… and instead of feeling excited, especially at the sight of my beloved goats, I found myself asking:

Am I still sure about this?
About any of it?

When I first dreamed up Ash & Ember Rising, I wanted to create tools.
Not just pretty pages or productivity hacks — but something meaningful.
I had a dream and an idea, and together they became the foundation of this brand.

Before I ever made my first printable, there was a lot of behind-the-scenes reflection, trial, hesitation.
But when I finally sat down to create, I had to ask myself:

Where do I begin?

There were endless possibilities.
But I knew this: I didn’t just want to share what I was doing — I wanted to bring people with me.
Because for the first time in a long time, I was breathing. I was living. I was dreaming again.
And I could imagine a future where I was happy, where I was free, where I was me.

And I wanted that for others, too.

I wanted to give people something they could start with.
Something that could hold a dream.
Something simple, but powerful — like a blank page with just enough magic to say, maybe.

Since I couldn’t give them a pen through the internet, I gave them the next best thing:
A place to start.
A page among the clouds.
And goats, of course.

The printable that started it all — soft clouds, curious goats, and a little room to dream.

That first printable pack made my dream real. And I loved it.
But I also learned from it.
And now, I’ve officially outgrown the design — but never the hope behind it.

So instead of setting it on fire… I’m imagining it anew.

The Plan Moving Forward

My goal is to revisit and refine every pack I’ve created — making sure each one still aligns with my vision and purpose.

And I’m starting right where I began.

Each week, we’ll build on the last.
If you’re ready to dream, or revisit your intentions, or simply want a gentle structure to reflect — you’re invited to join me.

You can:

Download the printable pages (below)
Use a journal or notebook
Or grab any piece of paper — whatever feels right

This is the beginning of a journey, if you want it to be.

Download Paper here

If community and gentle accountability help you grow, I’d love to welcome you to the Burnt, Brave & Becoming Facebook group — a safe space for reflection, support, and messy progress with like-minded, like-goaled humans.

And if you’re ready to go even further, consider starting a fresh journal for this next chapter.
(See the video below for the first entry in our journaling series.)

This Week’s Gentle Prompt:

Take 5–10 minutes to simply begin.
Write down:

Dreams
Wishes
Intentions
Thoughts or questions about your future

This doesn’t need to be perfect.
It doesn’t even need to make sense.

Just get something out of your head — or your heart — and onto the page.

There are no wrong answers here.
You’re not committing to anything. You’re simply starting.

Come back to your page during the week.
Add whatever rises.
Next blog, we’ll build on what you’ve begun.

messy progress

Behind the Scenes: Paint, Printables, and Procrastination

June 19, 2025 Mindrah

Usually, I get to Monday and think, “Okay… what am I going to blog about today?”
But this time, I had the entire post written by Saturday.

Which should have made things easier.

Instead, I thought: What if I made a video?
And then: What if that video became part of a series?

And that’s how we’ve ended up on Thursday…
with no blog, no video, and a growing pile of notebooks whispering, “We were your idea, remember?”

This week’s video was supposed to be finished.
It was supposed to be up.
You were supposed to be able to press play by now and watch me reflect, create, and gently chaos my way through six journals.

But here we are. And it’s not done.

And I want to talk about that — not to apologise, but to be transparent. Because the whole point of Ash & Ember Rising is to make space for imperfection. For pacing. For soft starts and late entries and pages that don’t quite turn when you want them to.

What’s Done So Far

I’ve filmed most of the components for the first journaling video:

The printables are prepped
The mixed media version is painted and assembled
The intro is recorded
The reflections are written
The structure is solid

…but I ran out of energy before I could film the bullet journal and digital versions. And rather than forcing it out of guilt, I’m giving myself a little room to breathe.

What’s Still Coming

The bullet journal version is planned and sketched — it’s clean, calm, and almost ready to film.
The digital journal is designed in portrait format (finally!) and just needs me to hit record.
(Which sounds simple until you’re running on tea and sheer willpower.)

Both pieces will be finished soon. And the full video will follow, gently and honestly.

Why I Paused Instead of Pushed Through

Because I don’t want to create content that’s built on burnout.
I don’t want to talk about intentionality while white-knuckling my way through a deadline.
And most of all — I don’t want to model the kind of perfectionism I’m actively trying to unlearn.

So here’s my reminder to myself (and maybe to you, too):

You don’t have to force it.
The work will wait.
The page will still be there when you’re ready.

🐐 Coming Soon…

The full video.
Six journals.
One small phoenix-powered step at a time.

Until then, thank you for being patient, present, and beautifully unfinished.

messy progress, Reflection

Balance in the Blaze

June 9, 2025 Mindrah

Last year, there was a sudden change in my role expectations at work, and I found myself staring down the possibility of endless hours stuck in a place where I was expected to be professional… but had nothing to do.
It wasn’t an easy change to accept.
I was in the middle of becoming something new — of changing — and suddenly, I was being anchored in place.

So what did I do?
I chose to grow anyway.
I applied to study a Master’s in Teacher Librarianship.
I committed to NaNoWriMo and decided to write a novel from scratch.

Then this year, I realised that if I overloaded my schedule just a little more — took on one extra unit each semester — I could finish my degree this year.
I could be done. I could be free. I could begin again.

And that’s how I ended up working full time, studying full time, parenting… and still somehow trying to meet creative goals.
I didn’t mean for it to happen — but I went from too much time on my hands to chaos incarnate.
Deadlines. Responsibilities. And an overwhelming need for time I didn’t have.

Sometimes I think people imagine “balance” as this calm, perfectly planned thing:
Work for 8 hours. Play for 8 hours. Sleep for 8 hours.
Easy, right?

But real life doesn’t work that way — especially when you’re responsible for people and tasks and dreams.
And the first things we sacrifice?
Our play. Our rest.
The pieces that keep us whole.

So how do you find balance that actually sustains you — especially when you’re busy?

You find it in moments.
Tiny ones.
Choice by choice.

This year, I’ve been choosing balance one moment at a time.
Moments to breathe.
Moments that bring joy, even if just for 10 minutes.

I…

Celebrated my birthday intentionally and creatively, in the way I wanted to
Finally started learning to paint with watercolours — and it has been pure joy
Kept blogging every single week, even when it was hard
Created for the fun of it through play and printables
And on occasion, did something completely silly and unexpected (hello, Blooper Mascot)

Balance isn’t 8 hours of leisure to offset your 8 hours of work.
Balance is:

That one quiet moment where you feel peace
A spark of joy you didn’t expect
Giving your body what it actually needs — whether that’s rest, silence, movement, or dessert
Choosing not to do everything right now
Letting go of perfection, and allowing “done” to be enough

Balance doesn’t mean doing everything.
Sometimes, it just means taking one small moment to do something kind for yourself —
on purpose.

Because there is joy to be had in goats and dragon-phoenixes and life, if you can find it.

Fire & Fuel

The Power of Sleep (and the Blog Post I Almost Skipped)

June 2, 2025 Mindrah

Rest Counts Too

It’s past my bedtime.
The blog post I wanted to write tonight is sitting somewhere in the misty realm of good intentions and unfinished ideas.
But instead of pushing through exhaustion for the sake of ticking a box, I’m going to do something radical:

I’m going to rest.

Because sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is go to bed.
To pause.
To recover.
To say, “I matter more than my to-do list.”

If you’re reading this and feeling that same tired tug — this is your sign to choose rest too.

We’re not machines.
We are human.
And sometimes, that means showing up by slowing down.

Goodnight, friends.
We rise again tomorrow.

It’s okay to miss a plan. It’s okay to rest. Sometimes the bravest, most beautiful thing you can do is go to sleep and try again tomorrow.

Burnt & Beautiful, messy progress

Brushes & Breathing (Pages 1-15)

May 26, 2025 Mindrah

If you read my last blog post, you’ll know I’ve taken on a lot recently — and then I got sick.
One of the unfortunate side effects of overloading your plate is that the things that bring you joy are often the first to go.
And anything new you want to try?
That usually gets pushed aside too.

For me, one of those “someday” things has been watercolour painting.

Almost a year ago, I bought all the things — paints, brushes, pens, and a book of watercolour paper. I was excited. Ready.
All I needed was time.

This week, while doom scrolling in survival mode, I stumbled across a Facebook reel of an artist painting in watercolours.
One video led to another… and then I found a whole series she’d made to help people learn and practice, step by step.

I felt something stir.
And after digging out all my supplies (which took longer than you’d think — dust is sneaky), I decided to finally try.

This blog is going to be a record of that journey.
Every time I paint something, I’ll update this post with my progress.
Maybe it’ll inspire you to try something new, too.
It doesn’t have to be watercolours.
Anything that sparks even a flicker of joy — that’s worth picking up.

Page 1: A Patchwork of Possibility

The first page is the creation a cover page for the book. The learning here is about how water colours work and what happens when you dab the paint to water.
I did end up with a bit of a pool of water like she did and I thought that I would hate that part of the page but actually it blended so nicely when it dried and it’s kind of my favourite part.
If you’ve always been afraid to give watercolours a try, I think this is the perfect exercise to get you to give it a go because the whole plan is for it not to be perfect, which is really actually perfect.

Page 1

Page 2: The Swatch Garden

The second page is a fun variation of making a ‘swatch’ to show what each colour paint looks like on the page. My watercolour palette has a lot more colours than hers and I think my book is smaller so my mushrooms quite small compared to hers, but I don’t think that matters.
I’ve never in my life drawn a mushroom so this was actually quite challenging for me. My perfectionist brain was screaming, blobs! And panicking but I just kept reminding myself that the whole point of this is practice. It isn’t supposed to be perfect and that’s what makes it awesome.
It did take longer than I thought it would to draw on all the details. My poor fingers are sore!
My watercolour palette doesn’t have names anywhere for the colours so I haven’t included them. Maybe I should just make some up…

Page 2

Page 3: Chaos and Control

I do not have a box of circles…
I also had never painted on paper with acrylic paints and when I first did my circles I thought because they were perfect this would turn out horribly but actually, the imperfections make this piece more interesting.
I’ve spent a long time trying to decide which side I like better. The wet on dry side looks clean and clear and dare I say ‘neater’. The chaos side was chaos to create and yet it turned out so well. I really like how the colours blend together and I used grey and black to make the background and I love how it turned out too! Nope, I can’t decide.

Page 3

Page 4:

Coming soon!

This post will grow as I do.
Each time I complete a new page from the series, I’ll update this blog with my progress.
Feel free to check back now and then to see how far I’ve come — and maybe you’ll feel inspired to try something new too.

If this post sparks something in you — a desire to try, to create, or to return to a forgotten joy — I’ve created a space just for that.
Burnt & Beautiful is a Facebook group for anyone exploring their creativity, whether you’re painting, doodling, colouring outside the lines, or just starting to dream again.

It’s a gentle, safe space where imperfection is welcome and sharing your progress (or your glorious mess) is celebrated.

If you decide to give this a go, we’d love to see what you create.
You can join the community here.

Feelings & Fire, Reflection

Choosing Yourself Isn’t Giving Up

May 21, 2025 Mindrah

Since I first created the Ash & Ember Rising blog, I’ve posted every Monday like clockwork.
But this week Monday came and went… and I didn’t post.
I didn’t plan to skip it. I didn’t battle with it.
I simply… forgot.

Why?

Because life got heavier.

I took on a fuller load at work — just for two weeks, and yes, I can handle it, and yes, it is needed. But it’s more work, which means more stress.
I have three major assignments due at the end of those same two weeks.
And then I got sick.
And I’m tired.
And I’ve been really, truly, just surviving.

The kind of surviving where brushing your teeth feels like a quest.
Where hydration becomes an achievement.
Where your body wants to stop — but your deadlines don’t.

So hello, overwhelm.
And welcome, guilt.

Guilt?
Yep. He showed up loud and dramatic, like always.

Because I missed a blog post.
And the perfectionist in me? The completionist in me?
They’re spiraling.

“This is the end!”
“You failed!”
“You gave up!”
“You didn’t finish the thing — so now it doesn’t count!”

That’s what they think.

But I know better.

Choosing Yourself Isn’t Giving Up

I know that during these two weeks, I’m going to have to choose.
I’m going to have to let things go.
Not because I’m lazy. Not because I’m weak. But because I matter.

And moving past survival — into something resembling stability — means being intentional.
It means choosing what to spend time and energy on.
Because if I try to do it all anyway?

Then I’m not choosing growth.
I’m choosing misery.
And I deserve better than that.

We’re Taught to Burn Ourselves Alive

We are taught — over and over — that we must juggle a hundred things.
Flawlessly.
Without pause.
Even when we’re sick.

But that’s not care. That’s collapse.

Choosing yourself is hard.
It feels rebellious. Shameful. Lazy.
But it’s not.

It’s what lets you keep going.
It’s what lets you come back.

Missing a blog post doesn’t mean my dream is dead.
It just means I’m choosing to live long enough to carry it forward.

A Reminder, For You (and Me)

My dreams will still be there when I feel better.
They’ll still be there when I have time.
They are not made of glass.

That email isn’t going to explode if you don’t answer it today.
Those dishes will still be there tomorrow.
Your work? Will probably thank you for showing up rested, not wrecked.

You don’t have to do it all.

You just have to choose.
Choose your health.
Choose your peace.
Choose you.

Even when it’s hard.
Especially when it’s hard.